If It Ain't Broke!

“I had to reset everything and go back to the basics.”

~Darrell Campbell

Let many tell it and they will say life is all about growth and change.  Let Ms. Mocha tell it and I say that theory is only half-true.  Sometimes it is about remaining true to yourself and maintaining what works for you.  Recently, I have had a few life experiences that made me realize my life was much better before I started embracing what I “thought” you should do when you grow.  Things like being more serious, trying to work out issues in dying relationships and being there for EVERYONE who needs you to be.  Before I became more conscious of every action—and reaction—of those around me and myself, my life had a smoother flow.  This is not a post to motivate you to change, but a post to motivate you to sustain and nurture your good qualities.  Today’s challenge is to renovate your life, but keep the structure that keeps you standing.

Renovation is not about tearing everything down and starting over.  It is however about making small changes to make your life more livable and enjoyable.  Below are the two renovations I feel can spark that much needed return to happiness… 

Individual Renovations:  If the new version of yourself is resulting in an uphill battle, it may be time to recognize what worked in your life before you started changing it.  Returning back to basics may seem simple, but there is a lot that goes into personal changes.  For one, we have to realize exactly where we went wrong in our transformations.  Acknowledging the problem is the first step in changing it.  Secondly, we have to ease up off the behaviors that have brought us to this place.  Third, we have to acknowledge those things that do not work!  Not all old characteristics are good characteristics and we must keep the two separate for the optimal version of ourselves to form.  

For many of us our entire lives are shaped by the opinions, actions and behavior of others and our environments.  We put on masks, armor and other protective gear to shield and protect the real person underneath.  As we grow, often we are forced to change to embrace a new side of life.  Sometimes WE do not need to change; we need to change our reality.  Which leads me to my second change…

Relationship Renovations: For those who need to reset their lives, a great place to start would be the people in it.  A typical reset of any device sometimes includes the alteration or deletion of certain components.  Now do not get me wrong, this is easier said than done!  However, this is about the restoration of your life and there is never change without a challenge.  If you are altering a relationship, know that you will confront some issues.  Be true to who you want to be and let the chips fall where they may.  For those messy deletions, remember that your reason—whatever it may be—is good enough.  Do not falter on it.  Some people will not understand why they cannot remain in your life, but if it means keeping your structure intact, it is not for them to understand.    

Trying to fix yourself when you were never broken can cause a lot of stress and unnecessary changes in your life.  There are times when we should pick up the paddle and row, but there are also times that we should just go with the flow.  If you are constantly picking up your paddle and going against the current that allows you to be content, maybe it’s time for a new approach!  Allow the good parts of your character, personality and ability to remain that way and only change when it will make your life easier.  Basically put: If it ain’t broke, don’t break it!  With all that said, I am done!  Until next time my loves!  

Step Away From the Complaint Counter!

“Some people seem to go through life standing at the complaint counter.”

~Fred Propp Jr.

Who do you know that is stuck at the complaint counter?!  If you are coming up blank, it may be you!  Of all the things in the world that do not contribute to greatness or success, complaining is definitely in the top ten.  It has the power to kill dreams, solidify fears and damage hope for anything more than what we currently are.  There is nothing wrong with being able to recognize when something is wrong.  However, there is a ton of detriment in dwelling on it instead of doing something about it.  In the past, I have discussed attitude and its importance in this life.  Today I wanted to touch on the unnecessary art of complaining!

Life has been—and will always be—about ups and downs.  When we find ourselves down, it can be easy to find fault and problems with everything.  Using your voice to complain can do more than get on everybody’s nerves.  It can leave you drained, aggravated, sad, broken…all the bad emotions.  As you know, I am a huge fan of focus!  When you find yourself prepping for the worst in your conversations, take a second and say something positive about whatever is going on.  If you cannot, remember that silence is golden.  It can help you filter things out in your head before burdening someone with your drama.  Which leads me to my next thought…      

Blah, blah, blah!  Womp, womp, womp!  This is exactly what I hear when someone around me is complaining.  Recently, I found myself behind the complaint counter for someone in my life.  Venting is one thing, but the negativity of complaining grows and thrives.  Complainers are like Gremlins after midnight; the more attention you feed them, the angrier they get!  All of this can result in an extreme waste of energy for both parties.  The next time someone comes to you with incessant complaints, gently remove yourself from their presence.  Do not allow their adverse attitude to drag you down.  

We can all find ourselves in a moment where complaining seems like the best and only option.  When you look up and find yourself at the complaint counter, stop and reflect.  Before you fix your mouth to spew out negative banter, remember these things:  EVERYTHING in life is temporary.  If you give it time, the content of your complaints will dissipate.  Know that there are no mistakes in life and regardless of your circumstance, things could always be worse.  Spend your time talking about and dedicating yourself to fruitful and positive endeavors.  Oh yeah, one more thing…

"If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it."

~Anthony J. D'Angelo

Until next time my loves!

Broaden Your Scope! Live a Big Picture Life!

“One day, after work on his cathedral had begun, Sir Christopher Wren unrecognized by the workforce, walked among the artisans and stonecutters. He asked one of the workmen:  “What are you doing?”

“I am cutting a piece of stone“, the workman replied.

He asked the same question of the second stonecutter. “I am earning five shillings two pence a day", the second workman replied.

He asked a third workman the same question and the man answered, “I am helping Sir Christopher Wren build a magnificent cathedral to the glory of God.”

*Story found on http://www.the-happy-manager.com/leadership-quality.html *

  

Zoom out to
your BIG PIC!

As you can see in the above story, the three workmen all had very different views about their work.  When it comes to life, some people focus on their single actions/events, some focus on their gains/losses and others focus on the end result of it all.  The third workman saw his work as more than his responsibilities for the day or how much he would make; he saw the big picture of what his work would result in.  If you were a part of this story, which worker would you be?  It’s time to stop looking at the small pixel in front of us and broaden our lens to capture the full mural that is our lives.  Today’s challenge is to find a larger frame and focus on YOUR big picture!

You got to visualize!

Your BIG PICTURE can be whatever you want it to be.  If you don’t know where to start, first pinpoint your goals, dreams and aspirations.  Once you do that, start a process I like to call visualization.  Visualize yourself where you want to be and do not focus on the roadblocks that will get you there.  You can do anything with a little belief in yourself.  The most successful people in this world may not have known the exact location or magnitude of their success, but they did see what could be as opposed to what is now.  This is a trait many leaders have and we all have it in us to be leaders; even if it is only over our lives!  Although it can be difficult, I can promise you it is well worth it! 

Focus on your long
term goals!

When you stop focusing on the small pictures, it can become much easier to see yourself in a better state whether emotionally, spiritually, mentally, physically or financially.  That old saying about not being able to see the forest for the trees can affect the level of joy we have in this life.  If you are constantly finding yourself stressing about individual hurdles, a handful of negative people or a particular portion of your life, it may be time to take a step back and capture what it all means.  There are no mistakes and we have to be aware that every situation; whether good or bad, plays a pivotal role in our development (or lack thereof J)!  So I will leave you with an Ebonism that I keep in my mind whenever I find myself stuck on a single frame in life…       

“Release a narrow mind.  Life is much broader than a single frame…keep your focus on the big picture”

~Eboni N. Faulkner

Until next time my loves!

Don't Wait For the Fan Club To Pursue Your Fame!

 Working on new material for next week, but I didn't want to make you wait!  Here is a gem that I wrote back in September for my other blog http://mochafoxx.blogspot.com. Hope you enjoy! 

Even without a stand full of fans, the game
must go on!

Goals.......Check!

Plan to Reach Said Goals.......Check!

Self-Motivation.......Check!

Becoming More Successful By The Minute.......Check!

Fans- ???....... “Where are my fans?!”

It is almost an unspoken rule that when someone you care about does something phenomenal, you should be there for them. Be their biggest support and encourage them to expand on their success and strive for more. Sometimes when you start exercising your inner genius that is when you realize who your fans really are. It means a lot for me to have my friends and family support my goals, but does that make me any less influential if they don’t? The answer to this is NO! Take a peek at some of these greats that didn’t wait for a following…

This club is not for the weak
or needy!  Are you working
your genius?!

• Sigmund Freud was booed from the podium when he first presented his ideas to the scientific community of Europe. He returned to his office and kept on writing.
• Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
• Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because "he lacked imagination and had no good ideas."
• Van Gogh sold only one painting during his life. And this to the sister of one of his friends for 400 francs (approximately $50). This didn't stop him from completing over 800 paintings.

These success stories and many more courtesy of this fabulous link:

But They Didn't Give Up!

I couldn’t have said it any better if I tried! When you set out on the road to success, you will sometimes find that you are on it alone. That doesn’t mean this is the wrong road to take, it just means nobody has discovered how much potential is there yet. Give it some time and people will come around. The ironic thing is that it may take for a stranger to stumble onto your road and let the rest of the world know about it.  We can’t always wait on the people in our lives to give us the green light to achievement. Finding motivation within ourselves should be our constant. When I think of my love for writing, I want to share it everyday! My blog is an expression of the woman I am and how far I have come. It is my hope that someone will read it and gain exactly what they need in the time that they need it. Here are some tips for you to follow!...

 For the Fam & Friends of a Determined Loved One: 

Often times jealousy, pride and a selfish attitude will prevent us from being there for someone. Decide today that you will discover what was placed in you to share with the world and focus on that! When you aren’t focused on being the best person you can be, take a walk down a road someone else is paving. Whatever you do, give a fair chance to this person in their pursuit of success. The work they are putting in is some of the freshest, untainted gifts they could give. Count yourself blessed that you know them before the fame and don’t take for granted the time you have to show your support. Besides, it makes no sense to give someone the flowers after they are dead!

Don't stop to check who is
watching!  Keep going and
see who watches you!

For the People Creating Their Destiny: 

If you are chasing your success, don't worry about who isn't there.  Be the best you can be regardless of who is watching.  If you spend too much time looking back, you will never get too far.  Also, the road ahead will have at least one person who takes notice and assists in your journey. THEY are your fan club!  We can place a lot of pressure on the people we love to be there, but they are not obligated to.  Work hard for what you want and don't ever question if it's worth it.  It's not the people who start that matter; it's the people that finish.  You would be surprised who is invested in your dreams at the end of it all.  

So strive for the best, don't worry or stress, and let God handle the rest!  Until next time my loves!

A Lesson Learned Is A Lesson Earned!

“The difference between school and life?  In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test.  In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.

~Tom Bodett

Earlier in the week, I had an enlightening conversation with one of my customers.  She managed to shed so much wisdom in an hour’s time that I was tempted to dedicate an entire week to her!  One thing in particular stood out to me though.  She said that we encounter tests in life taken repeatedly until we pass them.  Consider the tests that you continue to fail.  What is it about the material that has you stuck?  Are you sabotaging yourself for fear of the lesson it may teach?  Many people I know—including myself—find it easier to repeat tests that are easy and comfortable because we already know the outcome will be favorable.  Comfort and progress, however, are not close friends.  Today’s challenge is to face the tests in life that you have failed, prepare for them (because they will come again), take them with confidence and pass with flying colors!

Recognize which tests you are failing:  There are many lessons we need to learn in this life; the tests that we often fail have the lessons we NEED to learn the most.  If you keep making the same mistake, find yourself stressed over something or avoid certain situations, these could be necessary tests.  Do not think you can escape them!  Read my post Take A Different Road for more inspiration.

“Study” for your upcoming test: Half of the battle in earning a lesson is ensuring that you know what DID NOT work the first time.  Take the time to realize what you could do differently to break the cycle.  Whether you reflect on your own mistakes or reach out to others for help, be candidly honest about how you can improve.  Carry this awareness with you into the next step.

Take the test with confidence: There is no point in preparing if you will not execute your knowledge!  Considering that, you took the time to “study” your mistakes and find ways to turn them around, face your impending test with a can-do attitude!  Do your absolute best to avoid another failure.  The good thing about life’s tests are that we can be better each and every chance we get to take them.  Go confidently towards YOUR well deserved lessons!

Pass with flying colors: We may not be able to move forward without passing certain tests.  Just like in school, almost just doesn’t count in achievement!  Never be satisfied with skimming by!  If you ever want to experience the best life has to offer, you have to give it all you can.  When life gives you a “score” for your lesson earned, be sure it is the highest you can make! 

Make today your day to stop failing!  It may not be apparent why you need to learn something, but in the end, it could be to your advantage.  You never know what having certain lessons could do for your life.  So get ready for your next test and never accept less than an A+!  Until next time my loves! 

Are You Ready For Your Awakening?!



Add caption



“There comes a time in your life when you finally get it... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out- ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new prospective. This is your awakening.”

~Excerpt from the prayer of St. Francis of Assisi



It's ok to go through it...
your awakening is
coming!

Think about a current situation in your life that is tearing away at you.  You cope with it regularly and yearn for the period in time when you don’t have to deal with it anymore.  In a recent post, I brought to your attention that everything in life is temporary.  With that said, you already know that your issues will be behind you at some point.  It is your job to continue living and be ready for when the voice inside of you says ENOUGH!  We all have a path that has been laid for us and we will get to a point where we finally get it, get through it and get over it, but ONLY when it is time for us to.  Before you continue to plod along agonizing about it, take some time to realize that you are being prepared for something.  Today’s challenge is to see everything bad or negative that happens to you as preparation for your awakening. 

You need both to be at peace!

In a world that is fast paced, waits for nothing and puts up with less than that it can be easy to want to skip the rough patches we encounter.  Attempting to skip these experiences can halt our necessary preparation for life’s struggles in the future.  When we find ourselves fighting, crying and/or struggling to hold on to—or let go of—something, we can sometimes feel bad for this choice.  Resist the urge to do so!  Nothing in this life happens by chance.  Every ounce of energy in our fight, every tear and every painful struggle has a reward on the other side.  When we can see this and utilize it to make us stronger, we can reach higher and become better.  Recognizing what role the negative plays in enhancing our positive experiences brings us closer to the awakening we deserve.  The good news is no matter whom you are, you have many awakenings waiting patiently for you at the end of any and every struggle.



Your awakening is just
over the horizon!



Life is, and always will be, about challenges, choices and change.  We will all face challenges, we will all make choices and we will all experience change.  When faced with either of the three, there may be times that we resist the process of awakening because it can be easy to go with the flow and keep our current pace.  As I discussed in “Taking Your Life off Cruise Control”, we have to take a more active role in where our lives go.  Many of us are waiting for a miracle and clarity, but are YOU prepared for yours?  When you reach your awakening, you will be ready to move forward!  If you aren’t ready to move forward, you HAVE NOT reached your awakening!  Until next time my loves!    

What Are You Answering To?!

It ain't what they call you; it's what you answer to.

~W.C. Fields

Last Friday’s post was about coping with criticism…yesterday’s post was about judgment against others…today is all about judgment targeted towards YOU!  Pick any person on the face of this earth—including you—and there is no question that we have all been judged about something or another.  Even with every compliment, praise or positive action that we receive, there is something about the insults, condemnation and negative actions that we tend to remember.  This innate ability to harbor the judgment that people hurl our way can serve to tear us down or build us up.  Today’s challenge is to learn how to anticipate and utilize any and every piece of judgment to make us stronger and better!

Nobody knows you better than
YOU! 
Be careful what you answer to!

Without a doubt, people will find something about you they don’t like.  Nine times out of ten, these same people will find a way to let you know it!  Taking a tip from Fields quote we have to learn to expect this and be careful what we answer to.  Know who you are and reflect that at all times.  Be careful that you do not give others more power than they deserve by getting angry or upset.  Many times the judgment of others comes from a place that is far from truth.  When you respond to negativity, you are creating the illusion that truth may be in the lies.  Before you attempt to address and sift through every bad judgment thrown your way, STOP!    As you know one of my favorite words is FOCUS!  Focus on everything good in your life and be cautious of how much energy you give to the bad. 

Keep in mind that no matter how hard you try to please everyone, it will never happen.  Remember this is YOUR path and there will always be cheerleaders and bullies on the sidelines.  It is your job to surround your path with so many positive coaches, mentors and fans that the bullies will have no access to your progress!  The only constant is change and sometimes we have to be the ones to change!  Before you question this logic, follow this...Don’t change who you are, change what you choose to listen to, marinate on and answer to!  Until next week my loves!